Fighting back negative thoughts


I am REALLY struggling this month with negative thoughts floating around in my head. I have been under a lot of pressure lately with work and kids and it just seems that my only outlet is to secretly bash everything and everyone in the private space between my ears. Thing is, it’s non-stop! “Who does she think she is?” “What a loser,” “I really hate when people are hypocrites,” “Who does that?!” “I can’t stand the way he does this,” “I think she’s jealous and bored and manipulative,” “I hate her,” “I hate him…”

It goes on and on. And then there’s the script that I play over and over where I am talking directly to the person I am angry with. I summon as many examples as I can to bolster my argument to put the other person in their place, shame them, yell at them, punish them.

I hate to say it, but lately, I am filled with so much hate and anger and I don’t know where it’s coming from.

It’s partly coming from being overworked and over stressed. From having too many people in my house and not enough adult time. Not enough quiet time. Alone time. I am angry that I can no longer control my environment.

Another part of it is coming from others who are stressed out as well and kinda taking their issues out on me. Because I am under so much stress myself, I don’t have a lot of positive force within me to handle it, so I fall apart much quicker. I snap more easily. My skin is not as thick.

And of course, because of all this extra stress, I have been sick for MONTHS. One cold after another. One doctor’s visit after another. I am so worn out!

The biggest problem is that I feel STUCK. I know that I have to force the negative thoughts out of my head. I know I have to give up control. I know I have to be grateful and see the beauty in things. But sometimes (now!) those affirmations and bits of advice just don’t work. Enter frustration. Not only am I dealing with negative thoughts, I am unable to resolve the problems that are causing the negative thoughts. Argh. My usual method of dealing with problems is to isolate and avoid everyone. But I can’t do that in a household of six people! So…there’s gotta be another way. In a TIME article, it says I should just “accept” my negative thoughts, and yet, they are not always about myself. They are about others. Judging, angry, hateful thoughts about how others have “wronged” me or hurt me in some way.

How do you deal with negative thoughts? DO you have any techniques to help deal with stopping the thoughts or changing your mind about something? PLease post your ideas! I’m in need 🙂 So, far, the only thing I am trying to do is drown out the negative thinking by listening to NPR, going to spin class (but I still think negative in class, at least until my body takes over) and I have been reading a book on Native American spirituality, which helps a bit.

10 thoughts on “Fighting back negative thoughts

  1. I went through severe depression, anger, anxiety, skin issues – growing up – and it finally left when I switched my diet – to a more vegetarian one – and started getting involved martial arts – especially tai chi and meditation. Good luck and I look forward to sharing more with you:))

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    1. Thanks for this! I too know that the key is in diet. And although I am not completely vegetarian (I eat lots of fish and some chicken and turkey) I rarely eat red meat. My exercise of choice, which helps me focus the best is spinning. It helped yesterday! Thanks!

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  2. When I get into the type of negative head space which you talk about – its generally because there are some growing pains and emotional stuff to process coming my way. But for some reason, I also have to take practical actionn on something that is stagnating in my life. I also think its about balance and maybe too much focus being placed in one area…which limits my sense of freedom and or focus – so my overactive analytical brain starts looking around for something to fix. With a tendency to wallow rather than take responsibility, its easy to become critical. At the end of the day, for me its about my connection with whatever spritiual power i choose to believe in. So, handing it over. Inventorying my issues and where the feelings are coming from. Putting small action into place. And also – its not always easy – but i try to imagine sending out warm vibes (or feelings of intention) to other people…regardless. But this is easier siad than done. So if I get about 30% of this done – I’m winning 🙂

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    1. This is great advice! I can sense that it’s about balance and the fact that I’m presently off balance. I also liked when you said you have a tendency to wallow rather than take responsibility. That’s me too! Thanks.

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  3. My main technique is my Esther and Jerry Hicks Into the Vortex meditation CD. Esther’s voice is quite mesmeric and she gets you to concentrate on your breath ~ 3 beats in the in-breath and 5 beats on the out-breath. She says it aligns you with your inner vortex. Watever it is or does, it definitely works for me because otherwise, I used to be just like you with a mind going chatter chatter the whole time.

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  4. One thing I do is think about my thoughts. I actually check myself and redirect when necessary. We know our brain is plastic, so all I try to do is carve out new areas (away from negativity) for my thoughts to go. Mind over mind. Remind myself I’m not in control. I don’t know what’s going on in that other persons life. Acceptance.

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  5. I meditate, I repeat positive mantras, I pray, I concentrate on beauty around me, I read an involved book, I tell myself to stop negative thinking, I tell myself that again, I replace the thoughts with something good about the person, place or thing, I accentuate the positive, I remind myself that my negative thoughts go out into the universe and the wholeness of life is not helped by unkind or unhealthy thoughts. The others are so important too…………not just me.

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  6. something that worked in my case was the fact to identify the power of my mind and the impact of letting it take control over me. someday a person explained me that we people usually think that our brain or mind is what we are, for that reason we get in troubles when our thoughts are sometimes negative and sometimes positives, we often get into confusion. if we learn, study and go in deep reading about the mind we can understand that it’s only an instrument, a tool of our body as weel as the kidney, lungs, arms,etc, we can take control of it, we can control what to think, where to put our attention, meanwhile, it’s a hard and slowly process because, firstly me need to identify those moments in where our mind is out of control and generate an anchor to stop it, then force ourselves to shift the conversation. in my case until several weeks of practising this strategy I could notice some changes, I could handle those negative thoughts into a new system of useful and empowering thoughts .
    🙂
    there is a very good book ”think well, live well” by walter riso, in one of it’s chapters you can find a very deep explanation about the power of our mind and how to deal with it, it helped me a lot 🙂

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