Shallow self-love or deep?


One of the hardest things i ever had to learn was what real self-love was all about. Back when I was in high school, I thought it was all about dressing weird and different and being yourself and bragging about how great you were. I also thought if I intimidated others, that was a form of self-love (i.e. I loved it when others would tell me I intimate them). I also loved some of my behavior and sometimes I even liked my looks.

What more was there?

Well, for starters, while I was loving myself on a very basic, shallow level, I was smoking like a chimney, I was dating men who didn’t treat me well, I was working at loser jobs, I wasn’t going to college, I wasn’t taking care of myself financially, and so on. It’s like if you say you love dancing, but never actually dance.

Eventually, when I quit smoking I spent a lot of time on a quit smoking site and I heard over and over again, “Your body is a temple! Don’t pollute it!” It was THEN at age 39 that I finally realized, to love yourself means to believe that you are SACRED. And when you believe that you are SACRED, you don’t pollute it. Not only with chemicals, but PEOPLE TOO.

The year I quit smoking I also quit all my PoA’s and toxic friends. I went back to grad school and I started to really take care of ME. I got my finances in order, I started working harder at my job, I spent more quality time with my kids and family and those who love me.

That to me is self love.

How about you? Do you love yourself to the point of taking care of yourself? How do you take care of yourself? Do you believe you are SACRED? Do you love some areas of who you are, but not others?

Tell us!

4 thoughts on “Shallow self-love or deep?

  1. This is exactly the kind of reminder I needed to read today. I do love myself, but not as much as I should. I’m an overindulgent parent to myself. I give in whenever my inner child has a temper tantrum, even when it’s not the best thing for my mental, physical, or spiritual health.

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  2. Imperfect….such a good point. I too have an over-indulgent inner child. I am constantly “yelling” at her to grow up. Not sure that’s very loving, but I’m definitely working on it!

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  3. I used to attack myself doing certain kind of unconcious things, that with the past of the time were destroying my self-steem.
    many things which I would never been conscious if I would haven’t started this process. Now I please myself doing things like, go to the cinema, go to a new restaurant, other times I create an atmosphere full of calm with some candles, a good gist, a very interesting book and I end it up with a good masage given by myself, it helped me to recover the love annd the friendship of my inner child

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