Perhaps I shouldn’t post this because it’s purely fantasy driven, but two things: it’s far too weird of a story not to share, and it’s a great lesson in how little we actually know about our surroundings compared to how much we think we know.
So, D and I were driving through H___town yesterday on our way to a restaurant in the next town over. We’d driven down this particular road before, but I guess I must have never mentioned that I used to live here. “I had a house on Park Street,” I said, “right down there.” This tidbit of info must have triggered a memory for him, as he then said, “Do you know a girl named Kathy C___?”
“Sure, I know her. Why?
“Well,” he said, “I went to a party of hers like 20 years ago with L and K. And she had this boyfriend named D…”
“Dear Lord,” I said. “D was my ex. The guy I almost married. Not only that, but I was at that SAME party. That same night!”
“Well, I vaguely remember that she was pissed off with D because he’d gotten so drunk, and so she was flirting with me all night.”
“How funny is that,” I replied. “He got drunk because he didn’t want to date her anymore–I found out later. He was secretly in love with me, and was flirting with me that night. Little did I know he was about to end it with Kathy and ask me out. But I was actually into S and flirting with him.”
“So, while Kathy was flirting with me, her boyfriend D was off flirting with you. We were kinda connected back then,” D said.
“Crazy. I don’t even remember you being there.”
“Me neither. But obviously we weren’t ready for each other yet.”
So, that was the coincidence, but here’s the weird part. I have always believed that that era in my life was marked by a very strange yet unknown phenomenon. Like it was my end. Like this was the point in my life where I was supposed to meet the man I was to spend the rest of my life with (total love addict fantasy). Many strange occurance and “feelings” (which I won’t bother going into) had happened during that time to fortify that belief. Initially, I thought it was D #1. But that relationship ended badly and despite the fact that I didn’t love him and I was the one that ended it, he always stayed on my mind, almost as a warning or as reminder of my indiscretion. My life was certainly never the same after him. In fact, it took a serious decline. Before him, I was on my way up. I loved my job, had many friends, belonged to something bigger than myself. After him, I seemed to have lost it all.
When I hooked up with S YEARS later (from the same party, the guy I really had a crush on back then), (aka the 2008 S I have written about here), I thought my prediction was still right. Because S had come out of that era, I once again believed there was something about that time that was supposed to reap a lasting reward. When we broke up, I truly abandoned the dream. It was, after all, unrealistic of me to think that I could predict my future. And yet, when D and I learned we were at the same party, it gave me chills. It was like there was this weird gravitational field that pulled us all together in one night and sealed my fate. Only I couldn’t predict who it would be, or when.
Lesson here: despite being mostly a realist, who tends not to believe in a God that moves people together for a reason, I still have a little of the fantasy left over in me. The little girl inside me, in spite of all her hard work to abandon eerie coincidences and magical “Prince Charming will come” thinking, still, from time to time, believes in fate. But here’s lesson number two: I have learned this bit of info about D almost 3 years into our stable loving relationship. I am, therefore, not using the information as a basis to continue dating a man I barely know. Do you see the difference? Fantasy is fine, as long as it does not interfere in your decision-making. As long as it is not the basis for what you decide. In this case, the story is an added perk to the man whom I already adore for a gazillion other solid reasons. And yet, I’m glad he was there that night. It’s comforting to know, in a the universe is a mystery sort of way.