Just got pinged? Let it go!
See it for what it really is and keep it in perspective. A ping, for those who don’t already know, is when an ex texts or calls you after a break up, just to “check in” on you. To a love addict, this is a sign of continued love and attention. To a healthy person, it is literally the LOWEST form of communication imaginable and not worthy of any real response.
A ping might be this:
“thinking of you,” or “hope you’re OK” or “what’s up?” or “you busy?”
But the real, underlying message of a ping is this:
I really don’t want to communicate with you because I’m either really immature or because I just really don’t like you, and yet, I feel obligated to send you something so that maybe you’ll validate MY existence…and maybe even want to have sex with me again because right now, I got nothing.
That’s the extent of a ping. And quite frankly, I don’t care how low on the totem pole you think you are, you deserve more than that.
So…let it go as if it were a mosquito, or a pesky bug. Toss it in the trash like you would junk mail. Hang up as if you’re hanging up on a telemarketer.
I think, too, we mention being pinged as a way to feel good about ourselves, to prove our worth: “See! He’s still trying to contact me!”
But pings are not love. They are not well-thought out, intimate acts of communication or commitment. When someone loves you and wants to have a real live human relationship with you, they pick up the phone and say, let’s talk…they come over, they want to work things out, they want to be with you not just for sex, not just to validate themselves. They actually like being with you. If you don’t learn this, if you don’t start to believe this then a ping becomes your only lifeline to a world that sustains you. And that’s not much.
When you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired something in you just doesn’t want to give up on yourself anymore. Your own self worth is the driving force that no longer ACCEPTS pings or believes in them as acts of love. When you do that, “pings” start to have less and less value and your own personal worth in yourself starts to grow.