I wanted to share this with y’all. It’s actually quite funny but a good example of keeping certain people OUT of your boundaries. I have a very good friend (known him for 6 years) and our friendship has always been based on harmless flirtation. We’ve shared lots of secrets. I’ve always told him about my crazy stories of love and addiction etc. He’s a GREAT guy. HOWEVER, he’s been living with this woman for 6 years who never wants to have sex w/ him. They have a child together and he’s constantly telling me he’s gonna cheat on her. I’m sure he already has. Anyway, now that I am single, he’s been trying to get ME to sleep with him. I mean, he’s coming right out and saying it. I laugh, of course, and then just make a joke or change the subject. But he’s getting more and more assertive with me, to the point of talking about whether we can “emotionally” handle it.
Well, tonight, i just came out and said, “look, I can’t emotionally handle anything like that. AND i can’t just have sex for fun. I need to have it in a serious, trusting, loving relationship. AND, most importantly, i will tell your girl friend (i’m a feminist and believe us girls should all be good to one another)!!!!” Then i went on to make myself seem VERY undesirable. I told him I’d turn in to Fatal Attraction Woman, I’d stalk him. Cry over him. Insist he break up with his girl friend. And probably threaten to kill myself if he left me (I say all of this laughing, of course, as I would never do any of that). But my point is, I am very happy to be keeping my boundaries up. Very happy to keep my values intact. i think he’s got the message. And besides, i am no where near ready for any kind of relationship especially one as CRAZY and messed up as that. He’s got STAY AWAY written all over him.
Anyway, I think i can FINALLY answer Step 3 Q 8 on dignity. Ahhhhhhh…..it feels GOOD to be me sometimes