RECOVERY is this:
I feel as though i have been given a HUGE challenge– like a firefighter whose job is to pull a baby from a burning building…my challenge is to save one life.
When i first “quit” my PoA, it didn’t feel “comfortable.” It didn’t feel natural either. My whole world was split in two (then and now). I could not see the forest through the trees. I know how important it is to the human psyche to seek out those two things: comfort and normalcy. Some people crave those things so intensely that they cannot bear the thought of change at all, no matter what their circumstance– and they never do. They, sadly, are the ones who die in their hospital beds asking, “what if…”, holding out their hand to a love that isn’t even there.
RECOVERY is not for those kind of people– those who fear change. It is, simply stated, for the brave. For the heroes. Individuals not afraid to take risks. It is for the man or woman who says i can handle a few days (or even weeks) of discomfort and weirdness and sadness and depression because there is a bigger picture to see. There is a light up ahead, and this discomfort of withdrawal is a small price to pay for the inevitible reward.
RECOVERY is not for those who seek immediate gratification either. It is for those who are capable of deferring gratification– putting off the thrill and desire for love, sex and a false sense of intimacy now because the future of a stronger SELF has a bigger payoff. It’s for the smart investor who knows that every dollar spent on his life is a gift he gives to himself.
So each time you “crave” your PoA, each time you wish this horribly depressing feeling would go away and you just want to break NC and be NORMAL again, ask yourself two questions: Am I saving a life today, and if so, is it mine?